2024.
The one where we recap the past year while awaiting celebrations for the next.
This year was full of so many lessons - in boundaries, grief, budgeting, travel, simplicity, planning, career, purpose. There aren’t enough words to accurately move through what this year held, but I will do my best to summarize the lessons learned.
Alex and I took off in February for a year of travel - no home, no lease, very light plan. We packed her Jeep and my Blazer with our pets (shoutout to Duncan and Duke for being very good boys this year), our work necessities, some clothes, some kitchen tools we couldn’t live without, and a few cozy items to make each place feel like home.
With the world as our oyster and only a few plans nailed in, we left everything we knew to embark on a journey we both had always dreamed of. We were digital nomads - with very little training. We started in my hometown in Georgia for 7 weeks, Asheville, NC for 4 weeks, Raleigh, NC for another 6, Lincoln, IL for 4, then Port Huron, MI for what was initially supposed to be 3 months for summer and now we are here until June - to do that math it ends up being about 10 months in Port Huron - Alex’s hometown. Actually, the picture on this blog post is from our porch - Port Huron lake life is actually really feeling good! The goal is to take off again in June, head west this time but who knows, we are making choices as they come.
Stories about each of these places will come, but for today I want to just remember the lessons I learned along the way.
After growing into many different versions of myself over the last 32 years, returning to my hometown after 15 years to live in my grandparents former home with my partner and be an active aunt to my nieces and nephews is a privilege I won’t forget. Family is always a choice, blood does not bind us. Familial roles are easy to slip back into, and returning to oneself is very hard. Remember who you are, do not let the past rewrite your present.
Nature is a great healer. Sitting in the sun feels like medicine. The mountains, specifically, are really special to me, I love how small I feel in their presence. A beer never tastes as good as it does after a strenuous hike. My body can do more than I praise it for, and forgives me faster than I forgive her. I hope to cherish her better each day.
The quickest way to boredom and apathy is to feel like a burnt out local somewhere. Try to think more like a tourist everywhere you are - you’ll have more fun and a broader sense of adventure.
Friendships are valuable, powerful, and necessary, but it is also okay to retire some when they have expired. Friendships require work, but should not feel like work. When you stop feeling seen or heard by your people, you’re probably right. Say something! Go direct. If it doesn’t feel worth it to navigate, then walk away. You can always walk back.
Work does not need to define you. When the choice has been made to move on, whether by you or your boss or your company, the universe is on your side — promise. It might not feel that way, but she decided it was time to go and you weren’t willing to do the work so the choice was made for you. Lean in.
Trust your gut - an intuition is a gut feeling for a reason. Listen to it. Listen first, then make a choice. Your gut affects your mental health, your immune system, your hormones, your physical health. Treat your gut right, and it will be kind right back. It will also allow you to hear your intuition more clearly if it is well kept. Feel like you have lost your way? Your passion, your inspiration, your level-headedness? Check in with your belly, have you been treating her well?! Therein might lie a clue!
Life is full of nuance - things are not quite simply just black and white. Sometimes, in that nuance, you might learn something. Grey is an interesting place to visit - but do not find residence in the grey.
It is really easy to become complacent. Terrifyingly easy. Try to remember to often be inspired, to romanticize the day, to be the main character. Try new things! This goes back to acting like a tourist, it really helps. But not so much where you can’t be a regular somewhere. This is also inspired work!
Turn off the TV. Put down the phone. Read more books. Go outside. Wake up early. Eat really delicious food as often as you possibly can. Find every corner of sunshine in your house and stand in it. Smell more invigorating smells. Order the dessert. Walk everywhere you can - and honestly, get better shoes! Better to walk in but also better to strut in. Fun shoes are really fun. Remember the definition of sonder, that people all around you have complex lives; it will make you a better human.
Forgive easily.
You have built a complex and gorgeous community. When feeling happy, sad, low, scared, surprised, angry - lean on them. Ask questions, vent, share with them. We really cannot do it alone. Community is what we build on. Let honesty be your guide; let curiosity be your guide; let fear of not growing be your guide. Do not let fear, complacency, isolation, worry, or anger be your guide.
Slow down and enjoy the moment. Rushing to be everywhere, for everyone, and do everything means that you are truly not experiencing anywhere, anyone, or anything. “Go-mode” is a protective version for ourselves; if we need protection, we shouldn’t be there.
Discipline and self-control are not included in the life package. You have to fight like hell to have it, and then fight like hell to maintain it.
Find what you like to do. This might mean trying loads of things you hate before you find it! Getting older means a bit more time and adult money to spend actually doing things you always wanted to. Enjoy it.
Always have mac and cheese and/or salad ingredients in the house. And things to whip up a dessert.
The people you call when you have exciting life updates to share are probably also the people you call when your world has dissolved. These are your people. If you ever questioned it, this is how you will know!
2025 is looking to be full of slow living if I can help it, replacing quick and convenient purchases with making it myself or investment pieces, putting movement and wellness at the forefront, traveling to more places I don’t know than I do, eating a lot more of the world’s most delicious foods as often as I can, searching for sunlight, and getting back in touch with a library card. I can’t wait to see and share what’s in store. Until then, all my love.
xxx, Candi